How do you tell the difference between Liberals,
Conservatives and Southerners
How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and
Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the
knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would
inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What
about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the
knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does
the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy
with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and
weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a
few days and try to come to a consensus.
Southerner's Answer :
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
(sounds of reloading).
Wife: "Hun, he looks like he's still moving, whadda y'all kids think?"
Son: "Mama's right Daddy, I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"