How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and
                                  Southerners?

                          Pose the following question:

       You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
      children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
    around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the
                              knife, and charges.

    You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
                 seconds before he reaches you and your family.

                                What do you do?

                                Liberal Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
      look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would
    inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What
    about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the
    knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does
              the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

      Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
     this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy
                             with just killing me?

    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
     me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
                           while he was stabbing me?

                              Should I call 9-1-1?

    Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and
    weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage
                                 such behavior.

    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a
                    few days and try to come to a consensus.


                              Conservative Answer:

                                     BANG!


                             Southerner's Answer :

             BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

                                    click...
                             (sounds of reloading).

     Wife: "Hun, he looks like he's still moving, whadda y'all kids think?"

                   Son: "Mama's right Daddy, I saw it, too."

          BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

     Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"