1. You believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You believe that guns, in the hands of law- abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.

4. You believe that there was no art before Federal funding

5. You believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You are against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.

8. You believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

10. You believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

12. You believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinmen are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

15. You believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

16. You believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

17. You believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been incharge.

18. You believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

19. You believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.