This page was last updated on May 20, 2003

The Left's Weapons Of Mass Distraction VIEW FROM THE RIGHT

By Adam Sparks Adam Sparks is a San Francisco conservative writer.

Adam Sparks, Special to SF Gate

"Philosophy is a battle against the bewitchment of our intelligence by
means of language." --Ludwig Wittgenstein  Words are power in motion.
The war over words and how they're used by our society has become the
new battleground of the Left. The primary tool in their arsenal is an
effort to change the conventional meanings of words used in our daily
communication. The morphing of our language is now the front line of the
war on our culture and a powerful means for gaining political ground for
the Left. 

Just as many sports fans need a program to see who's who or what's what
on the field, many citizens need a guide to understanding the Leftist
lexicon. So, here's a brief primer into what the Left actually means
when they say: 

Advantaged, the: 1) Anyone who has a strong sense of
self-responsibility, works hard for their money or pays taxes. 2) Anyone
who believes in the American Dream. 3) White or Asian American. 

Affirmative Action: Getting back at the Advantaged. 

Affordable Housing: 1) Tax-supported housing, built by the government,
that costs twice as much to build than if built by a typical builder,
while simultaneously preventing new, for-profit housing construction. 2)
A program that requires the Advantaged to spend their taxes to pay for
the lifetime housing of couch potatoes and slackers. 

Animal Rights: 1) The concept of the supremacy of animals' rights over
those of humans. 2) The application of the U.S. Constitution to animals
in their legal defense. 

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD): A new disease cured by taking bright
kids bored to tears by the poor academic curriculum in our public
schools and drugging them to death. 

Basic Rights: New rights not found anywhere in the Constitution that
include the right for slackers to get free food, free housing, free
medical care and conjugal visits in prison, plus permission to deal
drugs, defecate in the streets and aggressively panhandle, as well as
get enough welfare money to trade their cars in every three years. 

Conservative, a: 1) Anyone fighting the socialist aspirations of the
radical Left or anyone who is either Advantaged or wants to be
Advantaged. 2) A person proud to be an American, and one who holds
ideals like honesty and morality and heralds individual rights over
group rights. 3) Dumb taxpayers who love America. 

Diversity: 1) Making sure we highlight and celebrate our different
qualities and our hyphenated countries of origin, while still bashing
America and, particularly, rejecting the idea that there is or should be
any unity of thought or purpose of America. 2) Making sure we have, in
all levels of government and corporations, a proportionate number of
people of color and those of different sexual orientations, unless they
are conservatives. Conservatives are not a part of diversity. 

Environmentalism: 1) A way of stopping America's technological progress,
farming practices, new housing and job creation. This is perpetrated by
a cabal of both tassled-shoe lawyers (who have never actually stepped
foot in a wilderness area) and scraggly neo-hippies. 2) Repeating the
mantra that Republicans are "poisoning the air and water" to a gullible
public. 3) An attempt by "progressives" to regress technologically by
reestablishing the technology of the 19th century here in America. 

Fascist, a: 1) Anyone who is not a Progressive (see below). 2) People
who believe in America's system of merit and capitalism. 3)
Conservatives. (Note: Doesn't include Leftist genocidal tyrants who
brutalize their people in nations throughout the world.) 4) George W.

Fetus, a: Tissue mass in a pregnant woman that often starts moving and
kicking at two months of age. 

Free Speech: 1) The ability to incite riots against America and its
capitalist system by the use of hateful speech. 2) Speech that
disparages the goals, purposes or ambitions of patriotic, taxpaying

Hate Speech: Speech by either the Advantaged or Conservatives that
doesn't promote a socialist "progressive" agenda. 

Homeless, the: Drifters, druggies, bums, winos, slackers and petty

Homeless Advocates: Leftists actually paid by taxpayers who lobby for
more big government and movement toward a "progressive," socialist-nanny

Individual Rights: The concept espoused by confused and hapless
taxpayers who actually believe their and their own family's well-being
comes before those of Environmentalists, the Homeless and the
beneficiaries of Animal Rights. 2) A major doctrine that terrifies

Judgmental: As in, "Don't be judgmental." 1) Said of persons who can
actually distinguish between right and wrong. 2) Said of those actually
trying to use the aforementioned moral code publicly to restore order
and decency in American policy. 3) Fascists (see above). 

Left Winger, a: This term doesn't exist. Don't speak it or think it. You
may have seen the term "right winger," as it's frequently used in
connection with both political or religious leaders by the Left and
their friends in the media, but you won't see "left winger." To the
Left, there are only right wingers, dumb taxpayers and Progressives. 

Mean Spirited: 1) Said of anyone who doesn't support brutal dictators
around the world. 2) Said of anyone who loves America. 3) Said of anyone
who doesn't buy into the entire socialist "progressive" agenda. 4) Said
of talk-show hosts. 

Multiculturalism: 1) The principle underlying any bashing ceremony
against all things American by representatives of nations or ideologies
foreign to America. 2) The foundation of being proud to be from a
country while simultaneously demeaning America. An idea espoused
particularly by persons who like to hyphenate their demographic
categorization by using their country or continent of ancestral origin
as a part of their identity. 3) The underpinning of any cultural event,
ideology or celebration that weakens or denigrates the American spirit
of unity. 4) The justification for resegregation both at school and work
with separate race-based organizations, distinct graduation ceremonies,

Oreo, an: A racist and derogatory term used by Progressives, but
parroted with glee by the media, to indicate a black person who works
hard to achieve or who doesn't think like a socialist bum. 

Pacifist, a: A person who holds that the defense of no one's life -- or
any idea, such as freedom -- is so dear that it rises to the level of
"worth fighting for." 

People of Color: The current politically correct appellation for
minorities. We've come a long way since that very offensive term
"colored people." 

Poor, the: 1) Those who don't want a minimum-wage job, because they're
too good for it, so they take the dole. 2) People who choose to have six
children without caring about how they will afford them. 3) People who
think America's taxpayers owe them Basic Rights (see above). 

Progressive: 1) Socialist. (The word socialist became real unpopular
after the fall of the Soviet empire and was quickly replaced by a more
easily digested word.) 2) A cruel joke on the American people. A word
intentionally meant to deceive the hapless taxpayer into believing that
the "progressive" ideology is somehow related to real progress. In
reality, progressive and progress are antonyms. 

Progressives: 1) Those who advocate the slow, clandestine progress of
big government and command-and-control socialism in America. 2) Liberal

Racists: 1) Fascists (see above). 2) The Advantaged (see above). 3)
White people. 

Rich, the: Anyone not Poor (see above), i.e. "This is a tax cut for the

Right Winger: Conservative (see above). 

Tolerance: 1) The act of ignoring your inner moral code and just
believing that anyone doing anything is OK, no matter what. 2) Does not
apply to Conservatives, the Advantaged and Oreos (see above). 3) Applies
to dictators committing genocide against their people. 

Underrepresented Minority, an: A minority who isn't from a group that
does too well in the classroom, like the Chinese or Japanese. 

Undocumented Immigrant, an: 1) An illegal alien. Someone who entered the
country illegally and continues to remain here unlawfully, frequently
working in the underground economy or, alternatively, getting on the
taxpayer-supported dole. 2) Anyone of those the Left uses as "useful
idiots" to inflict their socialist agenda on America. 3) One of a class
of people who must not be denied their Basic Rights (see above). 

Victim, a: Anyone of the class of either vicious criminals that have
been busted and have been victimized by a mean police officer during an
arrest, or an Undocumented Immigrant who has been denied his or her
Basic Rights and is now engaging in protests against America. 

Working Class, the: Those who are either socialists, collect welfare,
are unemployed or have a job but get paid under the table to avoid
taxes. This category allows the Left to then say, "This tax rebate
doesn't benefit the working class." 

If moderates, Oreos and Conservatives -- the dumb taxpayers -- are ever
to take back our country, we'll need to first take back our language.